Forgive and Forget

    "Forgive and forget" is a commonly used phrase, and especially typical to hear as we enter the new year. The phrase dates back to "Don Quixote de la Mancha" written by Miguel de Cervantes in 1605. He writes, "Let us forget and forgive injuries." It also appears in William Shakespeare's "King Lear," in which he writes, "Pray you now, forget and forgive." As you can see, over time the words forget and forgive have been flipped, possibly implying that if we first forgive, we will later forget. I hear these words together so often that until now, I have never really had a chance to think about them. Personally, I think that forgiving and forgetting is much easier said than done. In fact, often times I do not think trying to "forgive and forget" is necessarily the right thing to do. In many cases, it can be good for someone to forgive in order to move on, but not necessarily helpful to completely forget.
    Certain circumstances seem simpler than others. For example, as of today, the NHL lockout is over. Despite the 113 days of waiting fans have had to do for the season to start again, a large majority of people, myself included, will likely be forgiving of those who were involved in the lockout. By the time they are watching their favorite team again, the lockout will be a thing of the past and put out of the minds of the fans. Of course, there are more complicated and serious issues, such as the one described in this article. It describes the story of Conor McBride, who murdered his girlfriend, Ann Grosmaire. Ann's parents, although extremely devastated, were quite forgiving, which was a shock to me. The article states that, "The Grosmaires said they didn't forgive Conor for his sake but for their own." In this case, the Grosmaires were forgiving, but clearly will never forget what McBride did. The families ended up deciding to use a system called restorative justice, which "considers harm done and strives for agreement from all concerned — the victims, the offender and the community — on making amends." Is it right that just because the Grosmaires were forgiving toward McBride, that he gets to have less time in jail than he would have through a modern justice system? How far should forgiveness take a person? Where is the line drawn when forgiving and forgetting isn't the best option?